“Imagine connecting with the human spirit in
each person in any situation at any time.
Imagine interacting with others in a way
that allows everyone’s needs to be equally valued.
Imagine creating organizations and life-serving
systems responsive to our needs and
the needs of our environment.”
~ Marshall Rosenberg
Friendship and Community
Friendship has been described as the springboard to every other love and relationship in life. Communication and interaction skills learned with friends spill over into all connections in life. Those who have few friends or support networks also tend to have a diminished capacity for sustaining marriages, work, and neighborhood relationships.
How adults manage social situations affects the way the children in their lives view human communication. If you have meaningful relationships that add pleasure and joy to the quality of your life, those children will see and want to have the same thing.
In addition to the family of origin, or perhaps in spite of them, have you formed a family of friends, like-minded people and others you enjoy? At Artichoke Press, we like to call our customers, clients and faithful readers “our community.” Every morning I send blessings and support to the members of our community of kind, thoughtful people who believe in respect for all.
Cathy, a client in a mastermind session said recently, “Life is like a roller-coaster ride. But without my faith community it would be like a roller-coaster ride without seatbelts or safety bars on a swaying frame. It would be really scary.”
Some Will Like You, Some Will Hate You
We all want people to love and approve of us. We hunger to be connected to friends and family. Many people become “people pleasers” trying to be accepted by others in their lives.
As a life educator and family coach I have seen children who want approval so much that they will comply with the wishes and demands of others no matter what the cost to themselves. They want so much to please parents, teachers and friends that they give away all their power.
On the playground they play games they would not have chosen. They are involved in peer activities that go against their values. They give in to peer pressure and join gangs only to gain acceptance.
When they grow into adults, they carry those same dysfunctional patterns into all relationships. Rather than speak up on their own wants and needs, they strive to make themselves loveable by becoming what they think others want and need.
Children who are “people pleasers” will grow up to carry the same dysfunction and loss of power into adult relationships.
Because they have given away their power by deferring to others, many lack the skills to understand that not everyone is going to like you no matter what you do.
You Are Loveable But Sometimes Still Disliked
Out of every 10 people you meet, 4 will immediately like and accept you. 4 will be on the fence and withhold judgment until you have proven yourself and your intentions, and 2 will dislike you no matter what you do, say or offer.
This dislike is an irrational, subconscious belief that the other person may not recognize. For no apparent reason, some people will reject your friendship. It is okay. Just know that you too, sometimes get “bad vibes” from certain people. The irritating behavior you notice in other people is usually the same personality traits you don’t like about yourself.
Let the people who do not resonate with your higher purpose go. Be respectful and cordial but do not try to build a relationship. Concentrate on those that like you or can be converted to accept you.
People Pleasers Can’t Please Everyone
If it has been your pattern to become a “pushover” or “doormat” who allows others to dominate and disempower you, you can speak up or walk away.
As you learn to set boundaries, you will find that you will work harder to develop relationships with the 8 who are drawn to you and let the 2 who don’t like you to fade away from your circle of friends.
Bill Cosby said,
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Family of Friends
You are invited to read more about this area of life and the rest of the book…………..
More motivational insight
“The KEEPER of the KEYS” – Starring Judy H. Wright, Jack Canfield, Marci Shimoff, & John Gray, Ph.D.
Discover the KEYS to living the life of your dreams!
PS. Ordering from our site gives you a number of BONUS items including a 15 minute coaching session with the author, Judy H. Wright